T h e C h u r C h o f J e s u s C h r i s T o f L a T T e r - d a y s a i n T s • f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

Heeding the

Prophet’s Call

to Rescue,

pp. 46, 56, 60

How to Help Children

Feel Safe, p. 14

Rejoicing in the

Gospel, p. 36

Breaking the Chains

of Debt, p. 63

usa

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tesy of the Na

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The Return of the Prodigal Son, by Bartolomé Esteban Murillo When the prodigal son realized that he had

(Luke 15:21). But his father welcomed him home sinned, he humbly returned to his father and said, and said with joy, “For this my son was dead, and

“Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy is alive again; he was lost, and is found” (verse 24).

sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son”

Likewise, there is joy in heaven when we repent.

Contents February 2011

Volume 41 • Number 2

F e a t u r e s

 8 Latter-day Prophets speak:

a Call for Missionaries

President Thomas S. Monson adds his voice

to those of previous prophets.

12 the atonement

Lisa Jan South

New life as a symbol for the Atonement.

28 Finding answers

Joseph Fielding McConkie

The fact that every Church member is given

the gift of the Holy Ghost is evidence that the Lord wants to reveal things to you.

44 revelation: Pouring down from heaven

Adam Olson

Knowledge pours down quickly when

4

we’re ready.

46 Parables of the Lost and Found

M e s s a g e s

Forgiving, reaching out, and

welcoming back.

52

First PresidenCy Message

Lost and Found: Me

4

Matthew Allen Bland

how great shall Be your Joy

How a family’s example

President Henry B. Eyring

changed my life.

visiting teaChing Message

Our hOMes, Our FaMiLies

7 a restoration of all things

14 helping Children Feel safe

Shawn Evans

Tips parents can use to help

children through difficult times.

18

On the COver

the Power of early Preparation

Front: Prodigal Son,

Ronald Errol Bartholomew

14

by Liz Lemon Swindle,

Foundation Arts, may

As the world waxes more

not be copied. Back:

wicked, our spiritual survival

Lost Coin, by J. Kirk

will depend on our preparation.

Richards.

22 young adults and Family home evening

These young adults know that family home

evening isn’t something they left at home.

Living as Latter-day saints

26 similarities and differences

Heather McOmber

A Relief Society lesson I’ll never forget.

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

1

10

36

33

D e p a r t m e n t s

Did I Still Love Him?

Name withheld

Feelings of romance had turned to those of a

WHAT We BeLIeve

cordial friendship. What was I supposed to do?

10

36

The Atonement makes repentance possible

Questions & Answers

Christ atoned for our sins and made it possible Learning to rejoice in—and not be overwhelmed

for us to repent and become clean again.

by—living the gospel of Jesus Christ.

We TALk oF cHrIST

TeAcHIng, LeArnIng, ServIng

13

40

His grace Is Sufficient

Learning to Hear and

Kimberlee B. Garrett

Understand the Spirit

Iniquity seemed such a harsh word. Could it

David M. McConkie

really be the cause of my despair?

How to listen when the Spirit

66 LATTer-DAy SAInT voIceS

speaks.

When the Spirit speaks, do we listen and obey?

By STUDy AnD By FAITH

56

70 SmALL AnD SImpLe THIngS

Strengthening the

40

Less Active

73 FAmILy Home evenIng IDeAS

President Boyd K. Packer

How opportunities to serve and participate

74 neWS oF THe cHUrcH

can strengthen the less active.

79 In oTHer cHUrcH mAgAzIneS

goSpeL SoLUTIonS

60

80

From rescued to rescuer

UnTIL We meeT AgAIn

Betsy Doane

A Seat at the Bridegroom’s Feast

Pain and addiction ruled my life until that

Melissa Merrill

day at the airport.

Obedience is the only requirement for a place at the Savior’s feast.

provIDenT LIvIng

62 Learning to Be content

Breanna Sampson

comIng In mArcH

The problem was not with our house—it was

• Teaching the doctrine of the family

with me.

63

• A worldwide community of Saints

How We Broke the chains of Debt

• Elder and Sister Holland on Relief Society

Kate Strongin

We found ourselves in debt. Here’s what we

did about it.

2 E n s i g n

moreOnline

Ensign OnlinE

An officiAl mAgAzine of The church

If you’re looking to get more from your Church

of Jesus chrisT of lATTer-dAy sAinTs

february 2011 Volume 41 • Number 2

magazine experience, check out additional features The first Presidency:

at ensign.lds.org.

Thomas S. monson, Henry b. eyring,

Dieter f. uchtdorf

PErsOnal PrOgrEss

The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

Young women can now do their Personal Progress

boyd K. Packer, l. Tom Perry,

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Russel m. Nelson, Dal in H. Oaks,

plans and report completion, and keep their journal m. russel bal ard, richard G. Scot ,

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The previous version of LDS.org provided access to Adminstrative Assistant: faith S. Watson

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F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

3

F i r s t P r e s i d e n c y M e s s a g e

By President

Henry B. Eyring

First Counselor in the

First Presidency

How Great

SHall Be Your

Joy

Few joys in life are sweeter and longer lasting than missionaries: “I will send upon him the Comforter, knowing that you have helped others take the

which shall teach

him the truth and the way

restored gospel of Jesus Christ into their hearts.

whither he shall go; and inasmuch as he is faithful, I will Having that joy is the opportunity of every member of the crown him again with sheaves” (D&C 79:2–3).

Church. When we were baptized, we made a promise that And the promise of great joy for the faithful mis-we would “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in sionary is also ours as faithful members who give our all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until hearts to missionary work:

death, that [we] may be redeemed of God, and be num-

“And now, if your joy will be great with one soul

bered with those of the first resurrection, that [we] may that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of

have eternal life” (Mosiah 18:9).

my Father, how great will be your joy if you should All members accept part of the charge given to the bring many souls unto me!

Church to take the gospel of Jesus Christ to the world,

“Behold, you have my gospel before you, and

wherever and as long as they live. The Lord said it clearly: my rock, and my salvation.

“Behold, I sent you out to testify and warn the people,

“Ask the Father in my name, in faith believing

and it becometh every man who hath been warned to

that you shall receive, and you shall have the Holy warn his neighbor” (D&C 88:81). Full-time missionaries Ghost, which manifesteth all things which are expe-are to have the power to teach those who are not yet dient unto the children of men” (D&C 18:16–18).

members of the Church. Members of the Church are to In addition to the Holy Ghost to help us rec-have the power to find those the Lord has prepared for ognize and invite those ready to be taught, the

the missionaries to teach.

Lord has called and trained leaders to guide us. In We need to exercise our faith that the Lord has prea letter dated February 28, 2002, the First Presidency pared people around us to be taught. He knows who

placed increased responsibility for missionary work on they are and when they are ready, and He can guide us to bishops and wards. 1 With the help of the ward or branch them by the power of the Holy Ghost and give us words council, the priesthood executive committee develops a to invite them to be taught. The promise the Lord gave missionary plan for the unit. In that plan are suggestions to a missionary in 1832 is also the promise He gives to on how members can find those ready to be taught by us in our charge to find people ready for teaching by the the missionaries. There is a person called as the ward 4 E n s i g n

or branch mission leader. That mission

leader has close contact with the full-time

missionaries and their investigators.

There are many ways you can better

meet your personal obligation to help

find people for the missionaries to teach.

The simplest way will be the best.

Pray to be guided by the Holy Ghost.

Talk with local leaders and missionaries,

asking for their suggestions and promising

them your help. Encourage those involved

with you in this work. And be a witness at

all times in what you say and do that Jesus

is the Christ and that God answers prayers.

I testify that the Holy Ghost will direct

you to those who seek truth as you pray

and work for that guidance. And I know

from experience that your joy will be

lasting with those who choose to take

the gospel into their hearts and then

endure in faith. ◼

Note

1. See “News of the Church: Ward and Branch

Missionary Work Emphasized,” Liahona, Aug.

2002, 4; “Stake Missions Recently Dissolved,”

Ensign, June 2002, 76.

teachiNg from this message

Teaching, No Greater Call instructs us to encourage those we teach to set goals

to help them live the principles they

have learned (see page 159). With the

family, consider identifying the bless-

ings of missionary work as mentioned

by President Eyring and, if prompted,

invite the family to set goals for sharing

the gospel.

• Consider brainstorming with the family

ways to share the gospel, remember-

ing President Eyring’s counsel that

ndersena

“the simplest way will be the best.” To

learn more about brainstorming, see

Teaching, No Greater Call, page 160.

tion by Welden C.

Photo illustra

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

5

F i r s t P r e s i d e n c y M e s s a g e

Y o u T h

C h i l d r e n

The Many Missionaries The Gospel—a Gift to Share in My life

By elizabeth s. stiles

the word gospel means all the teachings and ordinances given to us by Jesus christ and His prophets. the gospel is like a basket filled with gifts from Heavenly Father. you can the first sunday i attended

help give these gifts to other people. With whom could you church with the missionaries, i

share the gift of the gospel?

recognized people i had grown up

Match the scripture verses with the pictures of some of the with and knew from the community. i saw one of my best friends

gifts that are included in the gospel. Write on each picture from school, the elementary and

the number of its matching scripture.

high school secretaries, a girl i had

1. James 5:14–15

not been exceptionally nice to in

2. Mosiah 16:6–7

the past, and even a young man i

3. 3 nephi 18:1–10

once had a crush on.

4. d&c 20:72–73

each of these individuals had

5. d&c 33:16

a lasting impact on me. My best

6. d&c 89:4, 18–21

friend was a young woman of

7. d&c 132:46

great integrity, and because of

8. d&c 137:10

her i chose to continue investi-

9. d&c 138:32–34

gating the church. the secretar-

ies who remembered me from

school helped me know that i am

important. i learned about godly

love and charity from the young

woman who embraced me despite

my less-than-kind behavior toward

her in the past. My early teenage

crush set such a good example, i

recognized his light and wanted

to be around him.

these experiences helped me

learn that, even before my first

exposure to the missionaries,

Heavenly Father had prepared me

to receive the gospel through the

people He placed around me. From

tions by Dilleen Marsh

them i learned that the small things

we do can have great effect. Most

Ft: illustra

important, i have learned that mis-

sionary work starts with me.

steve Kropp; le

tions by

Ft: illustra

Far le

6 E n s i g n

V i s i t i n g t e a c h i n g M e s s a g e

a Restoration

Study this material and, as appropriate, discuss it with the sisters you visit. Use the questions to help you of all things

strengthen your sisters and to make Relief Society an active part of your own life.

Faith • Family • Relief

the Prophet Joseph Smith organized Relief What Can From Our History

Society as an essential part of the Church. As a

I Do?

1. What help will

sister Julie B. Beck has taught that “we

presidency, we hope we can help you understand

know through the Prophet Joseph Smith

why Relief Society is essential in your life.

i provide my sisters

that Relief Society was a formal part of the

We know that New Testament women showed

this month that

Restoration.” 2 The process of restoration

faith in Jesus Christ and participated in His work.

exemplifies the

began with the First Vision in 1820 and con-

Luke 10:39 tells of Mary, who “sat at Jesus’ feet, faith of female

tinued “line upon line, precept upon precept”

disciples of Jesus

and heard his word.” In John 11:27 Martha bears

christ?

(D&C 98:12). When the Relief Society was

witness of Christ: “She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: 2. What teaching

formal y organized on March 17, 1842, the

I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, of the restored

Prophet taught the women about their essen-

which should come into the world.” Acts 9:36, 39

gospel will i study

tial place in the restored Church. He said,

speaks of “a certain disciple named Tabitha, . . .

to strengthen my

“The Church was never perfectly organized

testimony this

ful of good works. . . . And al the widows stood month?

until the women were thus organized.” 3

by . . . shewing the coats and garments which [she]

Notes

made.” Phebe, in Romans 16:1–2, was “a servant of

1. Julie B. Beck, “Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief For more informa-the church” and “a succourer of many.”

Society,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2008, 108.

tion, go to www.

2. Julie B. Beck, “Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief These pat erns of faith, testimony, and service

reliefsociety.lds.org.

Society,” 108.

continued in the latter-day Church and were for-

3. Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith (2007), 451.

malized with the organization of Relief Society.

Julie B. Beck, Relief Society general president,

From the Scriptures

taught: “Just as the Savior invited Mary and Martha rTa

Joel 2:28–29; Luke 10:38–42;

of

of New Testament times to participate in His work, Ephesians 1:10

M

women of this dispensation have an official com-

Ty Museu

mission to participate in the Lord’s work. . . . The organization of Relief Society in 1842 mobilized the niversiu

col ective power of the women and their specific

assignments to build the Lord’s kingdom.” 1

young M

We accomplish our work as we focus on Relief

brigha

Society’s purposes: to increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes,

Tesy of

and seek out and help those in need.

T, cour

I testify that Relief Society was divinely

organized to assist in the work of salva-

va K. Teicher

tion. Each Relief Society sister has an

essential role to play in accomplishing

by Miner

this sacred work.

tha, arm

Silvia H. Allred, first counselor in the

Relief Society general presidency.

y and arm

ome of h

t the

Jesus a

A Call for Missionaries

President Thomas S. Monson’s attention to missionary work is an extension of the M

Church’s emphasis on sharing the gospel, starting with the Prophet Joseph Smith.

ay I mention a matter

Following are the words of previous prophets on missionary work.

close to my heart and

which deserves our serious

attention?” said President Thomas S.

Joseph Smith

Monson in his opening remarks of the

(1805–1844)

First President

October 2010 general conference. “I

of the Church

speak of missionary work.” He then

“After all that has been said, the

extended a call for more full-time

greatest and most important duty is

missionaries:

to preach the Gospel” (Teachings

“To young men of the Aaronic

of Presidents of the Church: Joseph

Priesthood and to you young men

Smith [2007], 330).

who are becoming elders: I repeat

what prophets have long taught—that

Brigham Young

every worthy, able young man should

(1801–1877)

Second President

prepare to serve a mission. Missionary

of the Church

service is a priesthood duty—an obli-

“Our Father in Heaven, Jesus, our

gation the Lord expects of us who

Elder Brother and the Savior of the

have been given so very much. Young

world, and the whole heavens, are

men, I admonish you to prepare for

calling upon this people to prepare

photo by richard romney

service as a missionary. . . .

to save the nations of the earth, also EldErs

“A word to you young sisters: while

the millions who have slept without

you do not have the same priesthood

the Gospel” (Teachings of Presidents

responsibility as do the young men

of the Church: Brigham Young

Wilford Woodruff

to serve as full-time missionaries, you

[1997], 243).

(1807–1898)

Fourth President

also make a valuable contribution as

of the Church

missionaries, and we welcome your

John Taylor

“There never was a set of men

service.

(1808–1887)

Third President

since God made the world

“And now to you mature brothers

of the Church

under a stronger responsibility

and sisters: we need many, many more

“There are lots of able-bodied men

to warn this generation, to lift

senior couples. . . . I urge you to prepare

who, if they could only have a little

up our voices long and loud,

now for the day when you and your

more faith in God, and could realize

day and night as far as we have

spouse might [serve a mission]. As your

. . . the responsibilities of that priest-

the opportunity and declare the

circumstances allow, as you are eligible

hood that God has conferred upon

words of God unto this genera-

for retirement, and as your health per-

them, they would be ready to break

tion. We are required to do this.

mits, make yourselves available to leave

all barriers and say, Here I am, send

This is our calling. It is our duty.

home and give full-time missionary ser-

me; I wish to benefit the human fam-

It is our business” (Teachings

vice” (Thomas S. Monson, “As We Meet

ily” (Teachings of Presidents of the

of Presidents of the Church:

Together Again,” Ensign, Nov. 2010, 5–6).

Church: John Taylor [2001], 73–74).

Wilford Woodruff [2004], 93).

8 E n s i g n

Thomas S. Monson

to go forth and proclaim the gospel

Ezra Taft Benson

President

of the Lord Jesus Christ, the resto-

(1899–1994)

of the Church

Thirteenth President

ration again to the earth of the plan

of the Church

Sister “make a valuable contri-

of life and salvation” (Teachings of

“We urge you to seriously consider

bution as missionaries and we

Presidents of the Church: Heber J.

serving a full-time mission. . . .

welcome your service.”

Grant [2002], 84).

“Many couples can attest that their

missionary service was among their

Harold B. Lee

happiest times together because they

(1899–1973)

Eleventh President

were completely dedicated to one

of the Church

sistErs

purpose—missionary work” (Ezra Taft

“We witness in our missionary work

Benson, “Our Responsibility to Share

the magnificent spectacle of young

the Gospel,” Ensign, May 1985, 8).

men and young women [going]. . .

to all the ends of the earth, that by

their unselfish services they stand

as witnesses at all times and in all

places of the divine responsibility

upon the Church to teach the gos-

pel” (Teachings of Presidents of the

Church: Harold B. Lee [2000], 159).

Spencer W. Kimball

(1895–1985)

t casey

Twelfth President

of the Church

“The question is frequently asked:

photo by rober

Should every young man fill a mis-

t casey

Joseph F. Smith

sion? And the answer has been given

(1838–1918)

by the Lord. It is ‘Yes.’ . . .

Sixth President

photo by rober

of the Church

“We realize that while all men

“We want young men . . . who have

definitely should, all men are not

CouplEs

kept themselves unspotted from the

prepared to teach the gospel abroad.

world, and can go into the nations

. . . Yes, we would say, every able

Gordon B. Hinckley

of the earth and say to men, ‘Follow

worthy man should shoulder the

(1910–2008)

Fifteenth President

me, as I follow Christ.’” (Teachings of

cross. What an army we should have

of the Church

Presidents of the Church: Joseph F.

teaching Christ and him crucified!

“There is a constant need for more

Smith [2002], 78).

Yes, they should be prepared, usually

couple missionaries. They perform

with saved funds for their missions,

wonderful service throughout the

Heber J. Grant

and always with a happy heart to

world. You [leaders] need not wait for

(1856–1945)

serve” (Spencer W. Kimball, “When

the couples to volunteer. The sacri-

Seventh President

of the Church

the World Will be Converted,” Ensign,

fices associated with serving the Lord

“I want to emphasize that we as a

Oct. 1974, 8).

full time will abundantly bless the

people have one supreme thing to

couples, their families, and the peo-

do, and that is to call upon the world

ple they serve” (“To the Bishops of

to repent of sin, to come to God.

the Church,” Worldwide Leadership

And it is our duty above all others

Training Meeting, June 19, 2004, 27).

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

9

W h a t W e B e l i e v e

The repentance process

includes the following:

ReThpe ATeonnemtanc

enT mAkes e Have faith in our

Heavenly Father and

Jesus Christ (see Alma

34:17).

Possible

We come to earth for the Jesus Christ, to suffer for our sins.

purpose of growing

That is, Jesus paid the penalty

and progressing. We are

required by the law of justice for our

slowed in our progress when we sin.

breaking of God’s commandments.

Except for Jesus Christ, who lived a per-

Because the Savior suffered for our

fect life, everyone who has lived upon

sins, we will not have to suffer the

the earth has sinned (see Ecclesiastes

full punishment for them if we repent

7:20; Romans 3:23; 1 John 1:8).

(see D&C 19:16). His Atonement

To sin is to break God’s command-

“satisfied the demands of justice”

ments. Sometimes we sin by doing

(Mosiah 15:9), allowing Heavenly

something we know is wrong, but

Father to mercifully forgive us

sometimes we sin by failing to do what

and withhold punishment.

we know is right (see James 4:17).

Repentance is God’s gift to

Every commandment from God

us. It is essential for our hap-

blesses us if we obey it (see D&C

piness in this life. Through

130:20–21). However, if we disobey

repentance we become

it, there is a punishment attached (see clean again, making Alma 42:22). This meting out of bless-it possible for us

ings or punishments is called justice.

to return to our

Because our Heavenly Father loves Heavenly Father us, He has made it possible for us to

(see Moses

repent: to confess and forsake our

6:57).

sins and thus overcome their effects.

He sent His Only Begotten Son,

“He who has repented of his sins, the

same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember

them no more.

“By this ye may know if a man repenteth

of his sins—behold, he will confess them and

forsake them” (D&C 58:42–43).

10 E n s i g n

Confess our sins to

Heavenly Father and, if

Recognize our sins and

needed, to our bishop

Make restitution when

feel sorrow (see Luke

or branch president

Abandon our sins

possible (see Ezekiel

16:15; Alma 42:29–30).

(see D&C 61:2).

(see D&C 58:43).

33:15–16).

bunderson

steve

tions by

Forgive others who have

sinned against us (see D&C

Photo illustra

64:9; 3 Nephi 13:14–15).

Live righteously (see D&C 1:32).

Jesus Christ paid the price for our sins in the For more information, see Gospel

Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. He

Principles (2009), “Repentance,”

said of His suffering, “[It] caused myself, even 107–13; and True to the Faith (2004),

God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of

“Atonement of Jesus Christ,” 14–21;

“Justice,” 91–92; “Mercy,” 102–3;

pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer

“Repentance,” 132–35; and “Sin,”

both body and spirit” (D&C 19:18).

163–64.

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

11

The Atonement

By Lisa Jan South

My happiness and peace

seemed forever gone,

leaving only regret—

until I saw the blackened earth.

One bad decision and a forest

was destroyed—

or would have been

except for the saving grace

and promise of new life

evidenced in small green shoots

pushing through the ashes.

D stokervi

Ph by Da

Photogra

12

W e T a l k o f C h r i s T

His Grace is

Sufficient

in my mind, I finally understood a

simple concept that somehow I had

missed all these years. When I have

By Kimberlee B. Garrett

L

unresolved sin in my life, even if it

ike many people, I have struggled and had not been sensitive to their is small, I give Satan power to influ-for much of my life to

feelings. I felt bad and resolved to do

ence me. He knows my weaknesses,

recognize my self-worth. I

better. I apologized to my children

and he knows what words will “stir

have fought weight problems for

and prayed for forgiveness. As soon

me up” and “lead me to destruction”

many years, which have contributed

as I prayed, my feelings of inade-

(see D&C 10:22). When it comes

to my negative feelings. Even though

quacy were lifted and I was able to

right down to it, I don’t hate myself,

I have lost weight and lead a healthy

feel the peace that had eluded me.

but Satan does hate me and will use

lifestyle now, occasionally I still find

As though a light switch turned on

every tactic available to turn me away

myself fighting off those negative

from the light.

thoughts and feelings.

However, when I repent, I rely on

One morning I felt particularly low

the power of Jesus Christ. Because He

and was wondering how to make

knows perfectly how to succor me

the situation better. I began to pray

in my weakness (see Alma 7:11–12),

and ask for Heavenly Father’s help

His power lifts me up and makes

to overcome these feelings of inad-

me strong in ways that I can’t be on

equacy. As I prayed, the following

my own.

scripture came to my mind: “If ye

Even the Apostle Paul, so valiant

have no hope ye must needs be in

in proclaiming the gospel, suffered

despair; and despair cometh because

weakness and was plagued by its

of iniquity” (Moroni 10:22).

effects on him. Nevertheless, when

Iniquity seemed to be such a seri-

he prayed to have the weakness

ous word, so much so that at first I

removed, the Lord answered, “My

discounted the thought because I

grace is sufficient for thee: for my

could think of nothing that I had done

strength is made perfect in weak-

seriously wrong. However, the thought

ness.” Paul then went on to exclaim,

persisted, so I prayed, as instructed

Like the Apostle

“Most gladly therefore will I rather

also by Moroni, for Heavenly Father to

Paul, I will do my

glory in my infirmities, that the

best to repent

show me my weakness that I might be

and obey the

power of Christ may rest upon me”

made strong (see Ether 12:27).

commandments

(2 Corinthians 12:9).

so the “power of

I found myself remembering three

Likewise, I will do my best to

Christ may rest

Illeen Marsh

incidents during the previous two

upon me.”

repent and obey the commandments

days when I had not shown patience

so the “power of Christ may rest upon

tIons by D

with my children. I had put my own

me” and I can be filled with peace

Illustra

moods and needs in front of theirs

and love. ◼

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

13

O u r H O m e s , O u r F a m i l i e s

Helping

Children

Feel Safe

By Shawn Evans

Licensed Clinical Social Worker,

LDS Family Services

We live in an age in which

anxiety over being separated from par-

difficult issues—such as

ents during a natural disaster or in the

divorce, illness, death,

months following a divorce. Parents

accidents, natural disasters, warfare,

can help young children in such

job loss—threaten the sense of secu-

circumstances by keeping as many

rity in the home. However, there

routines in place as possible. They can

are many things parents can do to

continue to have family prayers, family

help children feel a sense of stability,

meals, and other routines they had

security, and safety in spite of these

before the major change. This continu-

disrupting influences.

ity helps provide children a feeling of

comfort, confidence, and stability.

How Children React

In order to help children cope with

Seven to Ten Years Old

traumatic situations, first we must

Older children can understand

understand how they react to them.

when something or someone is taken

These reactions are affected by the

away permanently, whether it be

stability of the family and the child’s

moving from a home or coping with

age and emotional maturity.

By understanding

a parent’s death. As a result, they may

become preoccupied by the troubling

how children react to

Birth to Six Years Old

event. Their understanding of life has

traumatic situations,

An infant may express discomfort

been badly shaken. They might dis-

from disturbing events by fussing,

parents can help their

cuss the traumatic event repeatedly

crying, and desiring to be held. Often,

children cope during

as they try to understand how to deal

wise noted

all babies need is for a parent to hold

difficult times.

with the problem. They might need

them or feed them.

help making sense of or expressing

Young children are more mature

their feelings about the experience.

t Casey unless other

than babies. Nevertheless, a disruption

Remember, their reasoning abilities are

rober

in the child’s normal routine may

not those of an adult. For example, it

Phs by

cause a six-year-old to feel powerless.

is not uncommon for children to think

For instance, he or she may feel great

they are to blame for their parents’

Photogra

14 E n s i g n

divorce. Parents can help by learning

what their children are thinking and

feeling and then correcting misconcep-

tions their children may have.

Eleven to Eighteen Years Old

Children ages 11 to 18 may be con-

cerned about events occurring locally,

nationally, or internationally. Older

“There have been a lot of

teenagers start to realize they are

changes in my life. Some

going to transition from living at home

things that didn’t change

to facing the turbulent world on their

were family scripture study

own. They may become overwhelmed

and prayer. I love the scrip-

with intense emotions and not know

tures and am now trying to

how to talk about them.

read them on my own every

Parents can help their adolescent

day. I like the peaceful feel-

children by doing activities with them

ing I get when I read them.”

that their children like, such as making

lsono

Michael H., whose parents divorced and

dinner, playing board games, or playing

whose mother later remarried.

sports. Parents can also discuss chal-

dam C. a

lenging experiences they had when

Ph by

they were adolescents. As parents share

their thoughts and feelings, children

Photogra

will feel more comfortable in sharing

what they are thinking or feeling. This

is how emotional intimacy is devel-

“My mom taught me from

oped. Even if adolescents don’t show

the scriptures that I can

overt interest, they will be listening.

trust Heavenly Father even

though I can’t see Him.

What Parents Can Do

After the earthquake, when

Parents must first recognize that

I couldn’t find my mom,

their children are distressed. 1 Children

I knew that God would

might exhibit unusual behavioral

guide me, and He did. And

problems such as prolonged sadness

though my sister died, I

or irritability, increased or decreased

appetite, disrupted sleep patterns, an

knew that I would see her

inability to concentrate, or abnormal

again.”

performance in school. Older chil-

Anny A., a few months after the 8.0

magnitude earthquake in Peru in 2007.

dren may start to engage in high-risk

behaviors such as acting recklessly,

using harmful substances, becoming

sexually active, or withdrawing from

family, friends, and social situations.

You can help by knowing how to

nurture your individual children. For

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

15

“I know that adults talk about

bad things in life to warn me

and help me understand things.

But it helps if I also hear about

the good things in the world and

in their lives. It helps me remem-

ber how good life can be.”

Erica M., who had five family members and

friends die within the past 18 months.

example, you can teach your chil-

child. However, in many cases a child

dren, especially when they are young,

will not be able to deal with his or

descriptive words to identify the emo-

her troubling emotions without help.

tion they are feeling. Some of these

As you listen with empathy while

words include sad, angry, frustrated,

your children discuss their concerns,

afraid, worried, and tense.

they will feel loved and comforted.

If your teenager begins to act reck-

One successful method of listen-

lessly after a traumatic situation, listen

ing with empathy involves restating

carefully to his or her words and emo-

the child’s feelings to be certain you

tions. As with younger children, help

understand them. You may need to

your teenager correctly identify his or

help them identify what they are

her feelings. And be understanding,

feeling. You might say, “You seem

knowing that the traumatic event may

sad and tense when I ask you about

have triggered the reckless behavior.

your friend whose parents divorced.”

As you begin these conversations

Wait for the answer; then allow your

with your children, try to avoid moral-

child to continue the conversation.

izing and expressing anger, criticism,

Children tend to talk when they feel

or sarcasm. Identify the hurt or pain

“My dad finds time for us to

in control of the conversation.

your child is feeling and show empa-

be together, often when we

thy. You could start by saying, “I know

Help Children Process Feelings

are doing service for some-

you’re sad that your friend died. I can

A child’s sense of control can be

one else. He takes the time

only imagine how difficult that would

increased by helping the child to

to talk about life in general.

be. I’m concerned that you are starting

process unpleasant feelings. Often,

And when you talk, you

to drink alcohol as a reaction to your

as you listen with empathy, you and

can feel inner peace.”

pain.” Starting a conversation in a harsh

your child will be able to identify the

manner rarely leads to good outcomes.

Ryan P., whose father was unemployed

for almost a year.

cause of those feelings. You might

ask, “Why do you think you are feel-

Listen with Empathy

ing this way?” Wait for responses and

Sometimes you may be tempted

listen carefully to the answers. They

to avoid conversation with an upset

may not come right away.

16 E n s i g n

Sometimes you may need to brain-

storm alternative solutions. You could

ask how the solution your child is con-

sidering would affect others involved. Is

the potential solution respectful of your

family or friends? Is it realistic? How

does it make the child feel? He or she

may not figure out a solution immedi-

ately. Reassure your child that you love

him or her and that it is OK not to have

a solution right now.

Respond with Faith

As you identify unusual patterns

“There are scary, bad

of behavior in your children and

people in the world. But

then help them express and under-

my daddy helps me feel OK.

stand their thoughts and emotions

He calls me during the day

in an environment of love, your

and tells me he loves me.”

children will gain a sense of security

Ally V., whose father is a police officer.

and safety.

The most important thing you can

do to foster this feeling of security

and safety in the home is to build on

the principles of the gospel of Jesus

Christ. You can seek inspiration about

how to help your children by fasting,

The

praying, searching the scriptures, and

FoundaTion

attending the temple. You can talk to

oF Peace

your priesthood leaders. You might

“How do we

bring that peace

also consider getting professional

into the lives of

help, depending on how severe the

children who are

problems are.

growing up in trying, troubling

As you act with faith in Heavenly

times? . . . The best and most

Father and His Son, you will receive

meaningful resources are found

blessings of comfort and support.

within the home where faithful,

Children will receive an added mea-

devoted parents and supportive

brothers and sisters love one

sure of comfort and stability as you

another and teach one another

and they live by the words of the

of their divine nature.”

prophets and continue the practices

elder M. Russel Bal ard of the Quorum of

that bring peace into the home, such

the twelve Apostles, “Great Shal Be the

Peace of thy Children,” Ensign, Apr. 1994, 60.

as family and personal prayer, scrip-

ture study, and temple worship. ◼

Note

1. See John Gottmann and Joan DeClaire, The

Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally

Intelligent Child (1997).

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

17

18 E n s i g n

The Power of

Early Preparation

As the world continues to grow more wicked, we must grow more faithful.

Our success will depend on how soon and how carefully we prepare.

By Ronald Errol Bartholomew

In my home growing up, my parents decided our fam- that, although I didn’t know much Korean, I knew many ily should hold family scripture study every day from lessons from the scriptures. That thought imbued me with 5:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. By the time I was in high school, confidence. My parents’ discipline was now paying offI I had become increasingly unhappy about this “early could talk about the scriptures. So I shared a few stories morning family tradition” and did all I could to show my from the Old Testament using the best Korean I could, lack of appreciation for it. I’d put my blanket over my then sat down, filled with gratitude for those many long head, lie on my pillow, and snore out loud in protest. But years of early morning scripture study.

my parents persevered. We read and re-read the Book of Over the years, I’ve learned that the example my par-Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great ents set for me as they prepared me for my mission and Price, and even the Bible using an audio recording.

adulthood was something I could implement in the lives When I left home for college I was disappointed to dis-of my own children. In fact, preparing our children is cover that I had lost the ability to sleep in. I woke up every something we as parents must do. President Henry B.

day at 5:00 a.m., no matter what, and without trying. As a Eyring pointed out why:

full-time missionary I realized how valuable my parents’

“We will need to have developed and nurtured faith insistence on consistent early morning prayer and scrip-in Jesus Christ long before Satan hits us, as he will, with ture study was. It happened when I was asked to speak in doubts and appeals to our carnal desires and with lying Church my first Sunday in Korea.

voices saying that good is bad and that there is no sin.

I was concerned that I had no idea about what I was Those spiritual storms are already raging. We can expect going to say, especially given the difficulties of a new that they will worsen until the Savior returns.

ard

language. But I had agreed to speak, so I prepared as

“However much faith to obey God we now have, we will well—or as feebly—as I could. Then it was time, and there need to strengthen it continually and keep it refreshed con-tIons by Jeff W

I was, looking out on the audience of Korean Saints and stantly. We can do that by deciding now to be more quick Illustra

investigators. I was suddenly struck with the realization to obey and more determined to endure. Learning to start F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

19

early and to be steady are the keys to spiritual preparation.

Procrastination and inconsistency are its mortal enemies.” 1

As President Eyring explained, because the current storms will only increase, our current level of preparation also needs to increase. The secret to our success is to be consistent and to start early.

Focus on Eternal Priorities

Sometimes it is difficult to incorporate the practices of personal and family prayer, scripture study, and temple attendance into our busy daily lives. That is why it is important to plan frequently how we are going to accomplish these goals. As a friend of mine once mused, “If I were the devil, I don’t think I could get to Latter-day Saints with any We also need to focus on eternal truths through of the big sins. I think I would just keep them busy.”

family prayer, family home evening, and family We need to make sure we don’t allow anything to inter-gospel study—especially the Book of Mormon.

fere with our divine duties to prepare ourselves and our children early and consistently. This can involve a lot more than just busy schedules.

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve truths. The Lord once reminded the Prophet Joseph Smith Apostles said that “some parents become so expert at fill-and Sidney Rigdon that Satan would try to take away light ing every physical desire for their children that they begin and truth from their families “through disobedience . . .

to suppose that all is well in this life and that their eternal and because of the tradition of their fathers” (D&C 93:39).

stewardship is progressing right on schedule. . . . I believe He reminded them that “truth is knowledge of things as that we must pause and take a careful inventory to deter-they are, and as they were, and as they are to come.” He mine how well our families are doing spiritually. We could said that “whatsoever was more or less than this [truth]

ask how well are we feeding, nurturing, training, and is the spirit of that wicked one who was a liar from the exercising the spirits of our children; or how well have we beginning” (D&C 93:24–25; emphasis added).

taught, trained, loved, and inspired our children to build One of the challenges Satan places in our paths is to their spiritual muscles and strength? . . . Remember, eter-distract us from gospel truths by causing us to focus on nity is now, not a vague, distant future. We prepare each things that may be true but not important. That can lead to day, right now, for eternal life. If we are not preparing for a myriad of problems, including frustration with oneself, eternal life, we are preparing for something else, perhaps family, friends, and even the gospel.

something far less.” 2

Here’s an example: The doctrine or “truth” about hav-Though we may be necessarily preparing our youth for ing babies is simple and wonderful. Babies are Heavenly short-term goals, we cannot allow those things to distract Father’s spirit children who need to come to the earth and us from our larger eternal goals. We need to start early to receive bodies as part of His eternal plan of bringing to establish regular patterns of gospel living.

pass their immortality and eternal life. We get to participate in this wondrous plan as parents, advisors, friends, Develop a Love for Gospel Truths

and mentors.

One important part of preparing our children for eter-But there are a lot of things that are true about having nity is helping them learn and develop a love for gospel babies that, from a certain point of view, are not so nice.

20 E n s i g n

These ideas can even distract us from the heavenly plan.

unusual difficulty in finding a mature couple who were For example, babies are cute but inconvenient, adorable available to play the parts of Lehi and Sariah, a thought but expensive. Babies often smell bad and keep one came to me: “Ask your parents.” I inquired and they awake in the night. And the more babies you have, the agreed to do it.

more stretched your financial and physical resources may The first evening of the three-day youth conference cul-become. Besides, babies can cause stretch marks and minated with a reenactment of Lehi’s dream. It was dark, weight gain. Having babies may disrupt a woman’s long-so the leaders were all busy helping the youth find and term career aspirations.

hold onto an iron rod that led them to a tree representing Each of these observations about babies is true—and the tree of life, which was illuminated in a clearing on the the emotional distress such issues can cause are certainly top of a large hill. As the youth approached the tree, my real. However, none of them encourages us to embrace parents, acting as Lehi and Sariah, picked glowing “fruit”

the saving truth about babies and their role in the plan hanging from this tree and distributed it to them. It just so of salvation. In fact, if we place too much of our focus on happened that I was the last person to arrive at the tree.

these true facts about having babies, we may find ourAs I approached the tree after a long and exhausting day, selves at odds with Heavenly Father’s plan for us as indi-I had a sudden epiphany when I considered that the two viduals and as members of a family. As we raise a family, people representing Lehi and Sariah were in fact my own we learn to be unselfish, to love others more than our-parents. The scene took on special significance when my selves, to serve, to sacrifice, and to teach. Learning these father reached up and pulled some of the fruit from the traits helps us to become more like our Heavenly Father, tree and handed it to me. Then I understood something who has said that His work is “to bring to pass the immor-clearly: as a young man I hadn’t received my knowledge tality and eternal life” of His children (Moses 1:39).

of the gospel from someone else—I had received it from As we do everything we can to prepare ourselves and my father and mother—one day at a time, one morning at our children spiritually now and for future storms, we a time, amidst my grumbling and moaning and complain-must learn and emphasize gospel truths over things that ing. It occurred to me that in Lehi’s dream, the Lord hadn’t are distracting, even if they are factually true.

come down and personally called Nephi to the tree—He did so through Nephi’s father, Lehi—and for me, it was Read The Book of Mormon

my parents.

President Marion G. Romney said if we prayerfully

As we strive to prepare ourselves and our youth

and regularly read the Book of Mormon in our homes spiritually, we can have a tremendous impact—even

and with our children, “the spirit of that great book will though we may not readily be aware of it. Thus, we must come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein.

be patient. Rearing children in the gospel is a process, The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and not an event. The secret is to start early, be consistent, consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of con-plan for life’s demands, focus on eternal truths, and tention will depart. . . . Faith, hope, and charity—the pure study the gospel—especially the Book of Mormon.

love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives.” 3 I Through our efforts, trusting in the Savior’s grace to have seen these changes occur slowly and incrementally compensate for our weaknesses, we can succeed. And over many years of serious and consistent personal and through these efforts, we can find peace in our lives family study. These blessings are not always realized in and joy with our children. ◼

their fulness immediately.

When I was serving as a stake Young Men president, NoTes

1. Henry B. Eyring, “Spiritual Preparedness: Start Early and Be Steady,”

the decision was made to reenact scenes from the Book Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2005, 38.

2. M. Russell Ballard, “Spiritual Development,” Ensign, Nov. 1978, 66.

of Mormon for youth conference. When we experienced 3. Marion G. Romney, “The Book of Mormon,” Ensign, May 1980, 67.

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

21

Young Adults and

Family Home Evening

Members of the Church across

But family home evening is

the world reserve Monday

also an important part of my cur-

nights for family home eve-

rent stage of life. Sometimes it’s

ning. As taught by modern prophets,

easier to stay home on a Monday

family home evening is a time “for

night, especially if the weather is

group activity, for organizing, for the

bad or if I have lots of studying

expressions of love, for the bearing of

to do. But nearly every time I

testimony, for learning gospel prin-

have this dilemma, I go to family

ciples, for family fun and recreation,

home evening anyway because I

and of all things, for family unity and

know it’s important to be around

solidarity.” 1

other young single adults to talk

For the following young adults,

about the gospel and have fun

family home evening is a priority.

together. Even when only a few

Not all of them live with parents or

others attend, it is still a great

siblings. Some participate in fam-

experience.

ily home evening with roommates

or ward members or friends from

institute. Still others set aside time

for private devotion. But all of them

recognize the immediate and future

have learned how to teach in a small

blessings in their lives from following

group, I have come to better under-

the admonition of prophets to partici-

stand the gospel principles I was

pate in family home evening.

taught while investigating the Church,

and I have seen others grow when

A Blessing in All Aspects of Life

they teach or share their testimonies.

As a convert and the only member I know that these are important of the Church in my family,

skills for my future. When I have

I attend family home evening at

my own family, I will know how to

the young adult center in my city.

organize a powerful and fun family

Participating in family home evening

home evening because of the good

has been important to me because I

examples I’ve seen.

22 E n s i g n

The nice thing about having fam-

are very busy and family time is

ily home evening at the young adult

rare, home evening is a wonderful

center is that we can come early or

opportunity to be together and

stay late to study, practice the piano,

strengthen each other.

play games, or just relax—there is

always something to do.

I know when I’m obedient

and follow the prophetic admo-

nition to participate in family

An Opportunity to Share My Faith

home evening, I am blessed.

I am a 24-year-old young man who

I have seen evidence of this

has gained a strong testimony of

in my studies, in my work, in

the gospel of Jesus Christ by follow-

being blessed with energy for

ing the prophetic admonition to hold

the week ahead, and in feeling

family home evening. Although I am

generally uplifted.

the only member of the Church in my

Lenneke Rodermond, Netherlands

family, after I was baptized, I real-

ized that family home evening could

A Foundation upon Which

strengthen us, and I decided to intro-

to Build

duce it at home.

I was raised in a family in which

The whole family now knows that

we regularly had family home

Mondays are special days when we

evenings. I remember that when

gather as a family to learn gospel truths.

I was a child, family home eve-

Sometimes we resolve problems in the

nings were one of the most

family or discuss challenges, needs, or

important events in my life, and

interests of individual family members.

I would wake up excitedly each

Another blessing that has come

I have learned how to really commune

Monday morning and remind my

from my parents’ efforts is that I’ve

with my Heavenly Father and to coun-

parents that family home evening

been given a firm foundation upon

sel with my family members in love.

was that night. Today as a young

which to build my testimony of Jesus

As a result, we have been more united,

adult, I live with my parents and

Christ. Though I learned the gospel in which is a great blessing.

continue to spend this special time

church, it was through family home

In addition, family home evening

with my family each week.

evening lessons that I really came to

has laid a strong foundation for my

sly

Because our family consistently

understand its principles. As a result,

family in the gospel of Jesus Christ,

had family home evening from the

I’ve been able to go to church and

and they are now investigating the

randall

time I was very young, I have always

grow in the gospel based on my own

Church. In fact, the full-time mission-

tIons by

understood its importance. In Korea,

faith and not on that of my parents.

aries join us for family home evening

Illustra

where many parents and children

Hye Ri Lee, Korea

once in a while.

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

23

Family Home evening is For everyone

“It is for families with parents and children, for families with just one parent, and for parents who have no children at home. It is for home evening groups of single adults and for those who live alone or with roommates. . . . Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased personal worth, family unity, love for our fellowmen, and trust in our Father in heaven.”

forward to the blessings it will

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985), President N. Eldon Tanner bring when I have a family of

(1898–1982), and President Marion G. Romney (1897–1988), Family Home

Evening: Happiness through Faith in Jesus Christ (1976), 3.

my own.

Chieko Kobe, Japan

A Remedy for Homesickness

I grew up in a family in which

my parents have been a

I know that when I get married,

glowing example to my two

my family will be blessed through

brothers, my sister, and me, and

family home evening, but I am also

our family has received many

grateful that I’ve been able to make

blessings because of their efforts.

family home evening an important

For instance, we have grown

part of my life now. I know that The

together to become a close fam-

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day

ily, turning to each other in times

Saints is true and that the family

of need or trials. And although

home evening program is inspired

some of my family members

of God.

are less active, they still join in

Lebani Butawo, Zimbabwe

family home evening.

I spent some time living in

An Established Priority

Sydney, Australia, and was very

I was raised in a family that made

homesick living so far from

family home evening a priority.

Ireland. Luckily, I lived near a

In order to make it home in time

Church meetinghouse where I

on Mondays, we would go straight

attended family home evening

home from school without making

rotated who would give the lesson,

with other young adults. This was

plans to be with friends. Personal

who would prepare the refresh-

a great blessing to me, and when I

tasks, such as homework, were com-

ments, and who would say the

attended, I no longer felt homesick.

pleted following family home eve-

opening and closing prayers. We

It was great to mingle with fellow

ning. There really was nothing that

didn’t just listen to lessons but also

members in a relaxed setting and

took precedence over this special

had opportunities to be instructors.

where the Spirit was present.

time for our family to be together.

As a result, I was blessed to obtain

Linda Ryan, Ireland

Family home evening made an

a knowledge and testimony of the

impact on us growing up not only

gospel and to have strengthened

Something I Never Regret

because of the priority we placed

family ties.

I joined the Church in May 2009.

on it but also because we worked

Because family home evening has

Since then I have quickly come

together to make it happen. We

become a habit in my life, I look

to value the blessings that come

24 E n s i g n

from consistently attending family

Everyone was having a great time,

A Priority for All of Us

home evening. One memorable

even if he or she didn’t win, but

experience occurred when our

There are many ways that I could

that’s not what made the experience

spend Monday nights, from

young single adult ward played

special to me. What really made it

participating in university societies

“chair soccer,” a variation of

to other sporting and recreational

indoor soccer, in the cultural

activities. But those who live in

hall of a local meetinghouse.

our student house—all Latter-

The point was to defend your

day Saints—have decided that it

chair while attacking other

is important to hold family home

people’s with a rubber ball. I

evening, and we make it a prior-

formed an al iance with two

ity. We have chosen this priority to

other players; by the end we

strengthen one another during a

were the only three still in the

time of life when living the gospel

game, and we promptly turned

could be seen as difficult. Sharing

on each other. Instead of getting

testimonies and experiences with

upset about it, we couldn’t stop

one another has brought us closer

laughing! It was the most fun I

together as young adults and

have had in ages, and I know

friends.

that I would be hard pressed to

Family home evening is a time

find an experience like that any-

in the week when I can count on

where outside of the Church.

receiving spiritual nourishment. On

numerous occasions I have come to

family home evening with questions

in my mind only to find the answers

in lessons or spiritual thoughts that

memorable was the spirit of friend-

are shared. It is also a time to set and

ship I felt at the activity.

reflect on goals that help me develop

Moments like this help me lighten

personally.

the overwhelming stress of graduate

Having made the decision to con-

school. No matter how the week has

sistently hold family home evening, I

gone, I know that I will always feel

don’t consider it a sacrifice. I know it

better if I go to family home evening. is where I should be; it is also where I may not always be thrilled about

I want to be. ◼

the activity and I may not always

Luc Rasmussen, Wales

want to take the time, but I never

Note

regret going.

1. Joseph Fielding Smith, Harold B. Lee, and

N. Eldon Tanner, Family Home Evenings,

Matt Adams, Nebraska, USA

1970–71 (1970), v.

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

25

Similarities and

By Heather McOmber

“Differences.” The teacher began by asking

us to list the similarities between a married

That Relief Society

lesson helped me see I

will never forget a particular Relief

Society lesson I heard in a young

single adult ward. At the start of the

Relief Society sister and a single Relief Society

lesson there was a blank chart on a white

sister. There was an almost audible groan and

myself, and others,

board with two columns. The first column

a collective mind freeze. One sister started

in a way I never

was labeled “Similarities” and the second

with a hint of sarcasm, stating: “Well, we are all had before.

26 E n s i g n

Differences

female.” And that seemed to neatly sum-

prone to focus on what

marize how we all felt on the subject.

makes us different from

But the teacher persisted. Gradually

each other, sisters in the

hearts opened and the list of similarities gospel do have a lot in began to grow: hopes, fears, strengths,

common. We need not act

weaknesses, responsibilities, talents,

based on fear of rejection or the

the gospel, covenants, faith, courage,

assumption that we have nothing

potential, pain, sorrows, fatigue, and

to offer each other. Seeing how

personal need of the Atonement.

alike we truly are has helped me

The list continued until the teacher

feel confident to stand as an equal

had to ask us to move onto listing our

with my sisters in the gospel.

differences. Of course, everyone imme-

But the exercise reached even fur-

diately called out: “husband!”

ther still. Not only did it build a bridge

But then there was a stunned silence. between married sisters and me but also Surely there had to be more than that.

between all of God’s children and me. That

The list included a few feeble attempts

we are all His children is our common her-

at finding differences—things like “we

itage. Our differences lie only in the details

may or may not have children” or “we

and packaging of our lives. Satan and his

have different responsibilities.” Most

work thrive by enhancing our differences—

of us, though, were simply stunned by

teaching us that we cannot relate to one

the fact that what we thought would be another. But the similarities among Heavenly the short list ended up being the long

Father’s sons and daughters are so great that

list, and what we thought would be the

if we choose to focus on them instead of on

long list was actually the short list.

our differences, unity is bound to increase

Until that lesson, I had not realized

(see Moses 7:18).

how different I had let myself belie

luke

ve

I will always be grateful for that lesson that

I was from other sisters in the gospel

helped me see others with new eyes, focused

simply because they are married and

my vision on similarities, and brought me to a

tion by John

I am not. This simple activity instilled

more understanding state of mind and heart. ◼

in me a bond of unity with my sisters.

For additional reading, see Jan Underwood,

Photo illustra

I saw with new eyes. I realized that

“Seeing Beyond the Category: Reflections on A

even in a world where people are often Single Life,” Ensign , Mar. 1984, 27.

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

27

A s you seek

 direction, the

Holy Ghost will lead

you far beyond your

own thoughts and

mark a course that

reaches beyond that

which you can see

even by the light of

day.

Finding

Answers

It is not the design of heaven that we be rescued from all difficult situations.

Rather, it is the Lord’s will that we learn to handle them.

By Joseph Fielding McConkie

BYU Emeritus Professor of Ancient Scripture

Not long after I graduated from college We were extremely pleased when we received I found myself in Vietnam. I had been

word that Bishop Victor L. Brown (1914–1996) of

commissioned an officer in the United

the Presiding Bishopric was coming to visit. We

States army and was serving as a Latter-day Saint

were to travel with him from one end of Vietnam

chaplain. Throughout the country, LDS service-

to the other, meeting with as many LDS service-

men were organized into mobile groups that

men as possible. Prior to Bishop Brown’s visit,

functioned like quorums and moved with their

Chaplain Smith and I made a list of the questions

military units. Every mobile group acted under

we wanted to ask him relating to our specific chal-the direction of one of three districts, each of

lenges and committed them to memory.

which covered about a third of the country.

Servicemen came from all over the country to

Our district president was an air force chap-

meet with Bishop Brown. We held meetings on the

M

lain by the name of Farrell Smith. I served as his sides of runways, in bunkers, and in ditches. We

y Museu

first counselor. As chaplains we were responsi-

sometimes held meetings with the ground rumbling

istorh

ble for meeting the spiritual needs of the mili-

beneath our feet and guns thundering around us. In h C

tary units to which we were assigned—including some instances we met in small military chapels.

25 of these mobile quorums. As the units

Between meetings, Chaplain Smith and I took

tesy Chur

deployed, the soldiers often found themselves in turns asking Bishop Brown questions. His coun-a different place each Sunday, but thanks to LDS sel was wise, but what we were doing became D Linn, Courvi

helicopter pilots who found a way to get us to

evident, and he halted our questioning.

T, by Da

wherever we needed to be, the system worked

“Brethren,” he said, “I am going to tell you a

ca

Tial

well. Even so, the problems we faced reached

story. You won’t like it, but it is a great story.”

far beyond our experience.

It centered on a young man with a difficult

The ini

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

29

B ut behold, I say

unto you, that

you must study it out

in your mind; then

Twelve Apostles. I will present

you must ask me if

the matter to him.”

it be right, and if it

The next day, as he met with

is right I will cause

the Apostle, the stake president

that your bosom shall

raised the matter. The Apostle lis-

burn within you;

tened attentively and asked a few

therefore, you shall

questions to ensure that he fully

feel that it is right”

understood what was involved.

(D&C 9:8).

He then said, “President, I have

no idea what to tell you, but this

afternoon I will be meeting with

President McKay. I will ask him.”

That afternoon he met with President

David O. McKay (1873 –1970) and carefully

explained the problem. President McKay

listened attentively and asked a few ques-

tions to ensure that he understood all that

was involved. He said, “Well, that’s his

problem, isn’t it?”

As Bishop Brown had predicted, we did

not like the story. It brought an end to our

question session and led to the realization

that our problems were ours to solve. That

is why the Lord had placed us there.

Learning to Solve Our Own Problems

problem. He did not know what to do, so he visited with That lesson is one that we are generally reluctant to his bishop for counsel.

learn. My father and grandfathers had a great love of the The bishop listened carefully and thoughtfully. He gospel and were marvelous sources of understanding. I iri

asked a few questions to ensure that he understood all have, however, a distinct memory of the occasion when

©

that was involved. He then confessed that he had no idea I went to my father with some gospel questions only to smith

what counsel to give but told the young man that he receive the following response: “Look, Junior, you have would present the matter to the stake president when they the same sources available to you as I have to me.” More ls; Christina a

met the following evening.

important than any answers these men gave to my ques-enrik h

The next evening the bishop met with the stake presi-tions was their teaching me how to get answers for myself.

©

dent. He explained the young man’s problem. The stake They are now gone. Questions continue, as does the con-president listened attentively and asked a few questions to fidence that the same sources that were available to them ensure he understood all that was involved. He then said, are available to me.

tions by Jan Friis

“Bishop, I have no idea what to tell you, but tomorrow In Doctrine and Covenants 9:8 we find the process

I will be meeting with a member of the Quorum of the of revelation: “But behold, I say unto you, that you must Photo illustra

30 E n s i g n

study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be Acting When No Sure Answer Comes

right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall There will be some instances when no sure answer

burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.”

comes. We have a series of revelations in the Doctrine and This process is designed to balance our experience and Covenants in which the Lord tells the early missionaries of agency with the wisdom of heaven.

this dispensation that some matters were to be left to their discretion. The phrase that is often repeated is “it mattereth Seeking the Companionship of the Holy Ghost

not unto me” (D&C 60:5; 61:22; 62:5).

We frequently speak of our right to the constant com-President Brigham Young explained this doctrine: “If I panionship of the Holy Ghost. Perhaps an analogy, one do not know the will of my Father, and what he requires my father taught me, will help in distinguishing between of me in a certain transaction, if I ask him to give me wis-receiving a revelation from the Holy Ghost and having the dom concerning any requirement in life or in regard to my gift of the Holy Ghost.

own course, or that of my friends, my family, my children, Imagine yourself traveling in the dark of night through rugged and difficult terrain, seeking a place of safety where you will be reunited with your family. Let us also suppose that a flash of lightning momentarily marks the path of safety before you. This brief flash of light represents a manifestation through the Holy Ghost.

If you then follow the path it marked out, it will lead you to the waters of baptism and to confirmation as a member of the Church. The authority who confirms you will say,

“Receive the Holy Ghost,” meaning the gift of the Holy Ghost. The light by which you now walk is the companionship of the Holy Ghost. It is the light of the gospel—or, for some, the gospel in a new light. In either case, it enables you to see that which you could not see before. It now becomes your privilege to walk, as it were, by the light of day. The light is constant, and, in most instances, the path you are called on to travel is clearly marked. When it is not, you are entitled to the visions, impressions, or prodding necessary to assure your arrival at the place of safety.

The fact that every member of the Church is given the gift of the Holy Ghost is evidence that the Lord wants to reveal things to you and through you. Joseph Smith said,

“No man can receive the Holy Ghost without receiving revelations. The Holy Ghost is a revelator.” 1

As you serve in Church callings and seek direction, that or those that I preside over, and get no answer from him, same Spirit will lead you far beyond your own thoughts and then do the very best that my judgment will teach me, and mark a course that reaches beyond that which you he is bound to own and honor that transaction, and he can see even by the light of day.

will do so to all intents and purposes.” 2

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

31

T he role of the

Holy Ghost

is as important in

determining what

if any person needed wisdom from God,

I did” (Joseph Smith—History 1:12).

we pray about as it

Do you see what is taking place?

is in giving us the

Joseph was getting a revelation telling

answers we seek.

him to go get a revelation. The Spirit

was directing him in what he prayed

for, and because the Spirit was his com-

panion in the asking of the question, he could ask with complete faith.

In 3 Nephi, the Savior says, “And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing Asking the Right Question

that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you”

In finding answers we must seek the balance between (3 Nephi 18:20).

agency and inspiration. Let me share a fundamental but Think of that! We have the sure promise that if we pray often overlooked principle relative to getting answers to in the manner prescribed by Jesus Christ and ask for that prayers and questions that trouble us.

“which is right,” it shall be given unto us.

Few things facilitate getting the right answer like asking the right question. A mother told me a story about the Learning to Handle Difficult Situations

disappointing behavior of a man after he had been called as I return to where we began, with two young chaplains in a priesthood leader. “How,” she asked, “can I explain to my Vietnam. My story is a nearly universal one. Each of us must children that callings in this Church are inspired and at the grow up and leave the security of home and the protective same time explain the behavior of this man?”

care of parents to enter a world full of problems and chal-While I share her concern over what took place, her lenges that reach far beyond our experience. As we venture question infers that if a leader makes a mistake then their out, we would like a ready source to tell us how to handle calling was not inspired. Perhaps a better question would every difficult situation. But that is not the Lord’s system.

be: should my faith rest in the infallibility of priesthood It is not the design of heaven that we be rescued from leaders or in the assurance that if I keep my covenants, the all difficult situations. Rather, it is the Lord’s will that we Spirit of the Lord will always be my companion?

learn to handle them.

Often what stands between us and answers to our

The sense of being overwhelmed is very much a part prayers is our failure to ask the right questions. Thus the of the journey. The power with which God clothes us in role of the Holy Ghost is as important in determining what His holy temples does not imply that our journey will be aseyc

we pray about as it is in giving us the answers we seek.

an easy one.

t

Perhaps the greatest revelation of this dispensation was As we accept our lot and move forward with what the rober

the one Joseph Smith received prompting him to go into Lord has asked of us, we discover that we enjoy the com-the woods to find a place to pray. Having read the injunc-pany of the Holy Ghost, angels feel constrained to join us, t casey © 2008

tion in James, he said:

and the heavens open to our vision. ◼

rober

“Never did any passage of scripture come with more From a devotional address given at Brigham Young University, December 12, power to the heart of man than this did at this time to 2006. For the full text, visit speeches.byu.edu.

tion by

mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling NoteS

1. History of the Church, 6:58.

of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that 2. Deseret News, Feb. 27, 1856, 402.

Photo illustra

32 E n s i g n

Did I Still

Love Him?

When faced with the idea of

breaking off my engagement, I

realized that doubts about my

worth were getting in the way

of my happiness.

Name withheld

Leaning against the front door, I

 gazed into the hall and couldn’t

 believe what I was feeling. I

had just said good-bye to Thomas,

my fiancé, and sent him out into

the evening snow to drive home.

We had been engaged for only a

couple of weeks and everything

had gone so smoothly. Both of us

had felt prompted that the Lord

prepared us to meet and marry

each other if we chose. So why

was I feeling so confused?

My love for Thomas had

suddenly and unexpectedly

gone cold. When I looked at or

thought of him, the romantic

feelings that had been grow-

ing in me turned to those of a

simple, cordial friendship. This

change made no sense to me,

but how could I marry someone

shcrofta

I thought of as “just a friend”?

That night I prayed earnestly

tIons by Jeff

for the Lord’s help in knowing

Illustra

what I should do.

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

33

The next day as I read my scrip-

tures, I continued to ponder my pre-

dicament. A memory came to mind of

a time when Thomas told me I was

beautiful. I had turned my head

away and changed the subject. Later

Thomas asked why I hadn’t believed

him. What I realized then was that

over the years, I had somehow con-

vinced myself that I wasn’t attractive.

After Thomas expressed his concern, I

began trying to trust his sincerity; even-

tually I didn’t have any trouble accepting

his compliments.

As I considered my present circumstance,

I realized that I was doing the same thing

with Thomas’s love for me. I didn’t believe he

could love me enough to marry me, so I was

letting go of my feelings for him.

I puzzled over why I felt this way. I thought

back to my life before I met Thomas. I had

graduated from college and served a mission.

I was never one of the girls who got asked

out on dates much. In fact, most of my dating

experiences had been group girl-ask-guy activ-

ities. It seemed that all my efforts to be the best person I could be spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially had brought me

many friends and great career opportunities but

hadn’t brought me any closer to marriage. I felt

discouraged and overlooked, even when I was

trying to be grateful for everything that was so

good in my life.

So, in social relationships my defense mech-

anisms kicked in. I taught myself to believe

that I just wasn’t lovable romantically. Romance

was something I could never expect in life,

34 E n s i g n

something impossible for me to

went back into “just friends” mode—my usual

H eavenly

have. I stopped hoping for it. I

wall of protection against potential failed hopes.

Father

didn’t feel that I was unsuited for

It was a wall that, apparently, had done more

responded to my

marriage, but I was trying to save

harm than good. Because I had difficulty believ- prayers by helping myself from the pain of failed

ing Thomas could love me as he said he did, I

me understand

hopes. I decided I would just

couldn’t risk hurting myself by loving him.

what was keeping

develop and share my talents and

Once I understood this, I came to realize that me from fuller get on with life as a single member

I had to retrain myself to believe I was physi-

happiness.

of society. And then I met Thomas.

cally attractive, as my fiancé assured me I was.

He and I were instant best friends.

I also had to teach myself that I could have a But when romance came along with

sincere, loving relationship with a man and be

sincere friendship, I automatically married to him forever. I could quite naturally accept love from this man and give it in return.

I am grateful that Heavenly Father responded

Cast Not away

to my prayers by helping me understand what

therefore your

was keeping me from fuller happiness. I know

CoNfideNCe

that although we each may have different chal-

“Opposition turns

lenges, He will answer all of our prayers.

up almost anyplace

something good has

I also testify that He knows us each perfectly

happened. It can

and individually. He knows all that is lovable

happen when you are trying to get

and beautiful in us. The world teaches us to

an education. It can hit you after your

think we are unattractive, unacceptable, and

first month in your new mission field. It

unworthy of love if we don’t meet the arbitrary

certainly happens in matters of love and

standards it sets for us. Sometimes it’s hard to

marriage. . . . There are cautions and

turn away from such loud and convincing lies,

considerations to make, but once there

has been genuine il umination, beware

but our Father in Heaven will always be there

the temptation to retreat from a good

to remind us of our worth and of the value

thing. If it was right when you prayed

He sees in us. His standard, not the world’s, is

about it and trusted it and lived for it,

the true measure of our worth. The more we

it is right now. Don’t give up when the

believe and accept the Lord’s love, the more we

pressure mounts. . . . Face your doubts.

will love Him and trust in Him.

Master your fears. ‘Cast not away

therefore your confidence.’ Stay the

Now Thomas and I are happily married.

course and see the beauty of life unfold

Since our engagement I have learned not to

for you.”

sacrifice hope in order to bury pain. The Lord is

Elder Jeffrey R. Hol and of the Quorum of the

the one who can heal all pain, and as we trust

Twelve Apostles, “Cast Not Away Therefore Your

Him, He reminds us that we have everything to Confidence,” Brigham Young University devotional address, March 2, 1999.

hope for. ◼

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

35

Questions & Answers

I often feel overwhelmed because I don’t feel I measure up to all that’s expected of me in living the gospel. How can I learn to rejoice in the gospel when I feel like I may never be able to become or do all the Lord requires of me?

When I was on my mission in Brazil, I often strug- down at the Savior’s feet more quickly. In verse 41 and gled to feel my offerings were adequate. I would

42, Jesus said, “Martha, Martha, thou art careful and look at other missionaries and agonize over why I was troubled about many things:

not as valiant as they were. Then one day I remembered

“But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that some advice my father had given me while I was in the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

MTC. “The only way you’ll ever be able to eat an entire I felt the Spirit whisper to me that like Martha, I was elephant is one bite at a time.” Throughout the rest of my careful and troubled about many things, and because of mission, my mom would send me paper elephants with that, I was not doing the needful things.

more and more “bites” taken out of them, symbolizing I have since adjusted my priorities. Instead of saying, what I was able to accomplish one day at a time. I finally

“If I have time I will read my scriptures,” I now say, “I learned to be patient with myself and love what I was will read my scriptures and then accomplish what I doing instead of constantly criticizing myself for every-can.” In time, peace returned to my life because I knew thing I wasn’t doing. Often, we feel like we can’t posI was doing the things that Heavenly Father wanted me sibly do all that is asked of us, but if we remember that to do first.

Christ teaches us “line upon line, precept upon precept,”

It is easy to be like Martha when there are many things (2 Nephi 28:30) we can accomplish great things and

—often good things—that need our time, but I now find enjoy ourselves along the way.

I am able to accomplish so much more because my mind Katie Houston, Utah, USA

is focused on Heavenly Father’s will and His purposes for me. I know that if I continue to put the Lord first, He will Like many, I have had a difficult time combining spiritual bless me with strength, peace, and joy.

 priorities with the other demands of life. Being the Kristine Nelson, Arizona, USA

mother of six children keeps me very busy, and it can be difficult to accomplish all the things I am supposed to do.

As a Scoutmaster of many years, I’ve learned a few One day, I finally took the matter to the Lord in prayer.

 guiding principles from the Scout Oath. The first few rI

A few days later I was reading the story in Luke 10

words state, “On my honor, I will do my best to do my 2001 I©

about when the Savior came to visit Mary and Martha.

duty to God and my country.” These few lines parallel one rane

Mary sat at the feet of the Savior listening to His words of Christ’s powerful teachings in the New Testament.

ter al

while Martha was busy getting the house ready for

In Matthew 22, a lawyer asked Jesus, “Master, which is by W

visitors. Martha asked the Savior to “bid [Mary] there-the great commandment in the law?

fore that she help me” (verse 40). I imagine that she

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy also wanted to hear what the Savior was teaching and God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with y Heard His Word,

thought that with Mary’s help, she might be able to sit all thy mind.

Mar

36 E n s i g n

“This is the first and great commandment.

“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt

It is easy to be

S ometimes it may seem that if we get out of bed in the morning and by bedtime have

love thy neighbour as thyself” (verses 36–39).

not managed to feed and tend the children,

like Martha

Both the Scout Oath and this scripture indi-

bake homemade bread, finish all the house-

when there are

cate that our first duty is to God and our

work, study the scriptures, do our home or

many things that

second is to our neighbor.

visiting teaching, attend the temple, do family

need our time,

It takes a lot to love the Lord and our

history, go to choir practice, prepare a lesson

but I now find

neighbor, but if we can remember what the

or talk for Sunday, and finish cross-stitching

that if I put the

Savior said next in verse 40, we gain better

the Ten Commandments, we have failed.

understanding: “On these two command-

Lord first, He will

Don’t worry—there is always tomorrow.

ments hang all the law and the prophets.”

bless me with

The key is faith. When we stay close to the

Loving the Lord and loving our neighbor is

strength, peace,

Lord and obey His commandments, we can be

as simple as it gets. If we can live by these

and joy.

prompted by the Holy Spirit to know what our

two rules, our light will shine so brightly

priorities are each day. We can also take com-

that our goodness will

fort in the fact that Heavenly Father knows us.

far outshine our

He knows our hearts, our trials, our strengths,

greatness.

and our weaknesses. We can start moving

George Hansen,

toward peace by accepting that He loves

Utah, USA

us, despite our imperfections and

limitations.

We wouldn’t ask our own

children to do everything

in one day while we sit

back and watch

and then chastise

them for the

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

37

jobs left undone. Heavenly Father

That same loving Father would

won’t either. I know that He loves

Step by Step

never leave me alone to endure the

us and will help us.

“Let me cite a hypo-

darkness of my trials. He is there.

Elaine Chamberlain, England

thetical example of

His light will guide me. As the

a dear sister in any

fierce winds of adversity blow, I will

As a divorced woman in the

ward, the one who has

remember His hand in all things.

 Church, I often feel over-

perfect children who

Though I will certainly face

whelmed and worry that I do

never cause a distur-

other trials and adversity in my life,

not measure up. However, while

bance in church. She is the one working

I realize I can find joy through faith

reading the Book of Mormon, I

on her 20th generation in her family

in a loving Heavenly Father.

learned about the marvelous hope

history, keeps an immaculate home,

Jana Blackman, Utah, USA

and joy that a loving Heavenly

has memorized the book of Mark, and

Father provides even when the

makes wool sweaters for the orphaned

children in Romania. No disrespect, of

Although most of us understand

trials we face seem to overwhelm

 that we do not need to

us. “And thus the Lord caused

course, intended for any of these worthy

become perfect overnight, we some-

stones to shine in darkness, to

goals. Now, when you get tempted to

times hear messages about things

give light unto men, women, and

throw your hands in the air and give

that are important for us to do and

children, that they might not cross

up because of this dear sister, please

then feel like we have to do them all

the great waters in darkness. . . .

remember you’re not competing with

at once. I’ve often felt reassurance

“And . . . the Lord God caused

her any more than I’m competing with

that this isn’t what the Lord wants.

that there should be a furious

the members of the Quorum of the

Although all of these things might

wind blow upon the face of the

Twelve in winning a 50-yard dash.

be significant at some time in our

waters, towards the promised

“The only thing you need to worry

lives, there will always be particular

land; and thus they were tossed

about is striving to be the best you can

things that are the most essential

upon the waves of the sea before

be. And how do you do that? You keep

for us to do now. In the April 2007

the wind. . . .

your eye on the goals that matter most

General Conference, President

“And it came to pass that the

in life, and you move towards them step

Henry B. Eyring suggested that we

M

wind did never cease to blow

by step.”

pray daily to find out from the Lord

towards the promised land while

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum what He would have us do that day.

ry MuseuO

they were upon the waters; and

of the Twelve Apostles, “One Step after Another,”

isth

Ensign, Nov. 2001, 26.

He promised that such a prayer

h C

thus they were driven forth before

would always be answered.1

the wind” (Ether 6:3, 5, 8).

I have found his promise to be true. If I make an effort tesy Chur

As I thought about the furious wind tossing the Jaredites to prayerfully consider my responsibilities, my priori-urO

upon the waves, it seemed the wind was more of a curse ties, and the time I have available on a given day, it soon rn, CO

than a blessing. But I felt impressed that without the wind, becomes clear to me what the Lord would have me do. I rie ObA

their journey would have been even more arduous and have found He never asks more of me than I can manage.

long. How long might it have taken to reach the prom-Letting the Lord help me determine what is most impor-

, by Anne M

ised land without those fierce winds? The wind, which tant each day gives me confidence in my decisions and light

appeared to be a trial—something to beset their journey—

assurance that He is pleased with me.

was a blessing from a loving Father.

Michael Green, Scotland

Children of

38 E n s i g n

walk in His path. At times we may hesitate

Share Your

IdeaS

Many years ago I attended a stake

Relief Society conference in Colorado.

and fear, but our Heavenly Father and our

A speaker used an analogy that really

Savior will always encourage us and help us

impressed me. She asked us to think about

because They know we can succeed. When

An upcoming

 Q&A feature

how children learn to walk. We as adults

we stumble or fall down, They do not berate

wil focus on the

give encouragement and praise. We stretch

us or scold us or give up on us. They con-

following topic:

out our arms and invite them to come to us.

tinue to stretch out Their arms and beckon

I have heard

When just learning, children are often a bit

us to “come.” They know we can succeed,

Church leaders say

fearful and hesitant, but with our continued

and They do not love us less because of our

that those of us who

encouragement, they continue to try. They

stumbling.

come from dysfunc-

may only get one step taken before they fall,

Keeping in mind the image of our

tional homes can be

but we don’t berate them or scold them or

Heavenly Father with outstretched arms, as

“cycle breakers.” I

give up on them. We pick them up and help

mortal parents do to their learning child,

want to build a life

them because we know that they can suc-

can help us through our trials. Accepting His

founded on righteous

cessfully learn to walk. We do not love them

encouragement and love can give us the faith

traditions, but I’m

less because of their stumbling.

we need to strive to do better.

not sure how I can

She likened that to our relationship with

Jan Payne, Iowa, USA

be and do something

our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. God

Note

different than what

sent us down here to learn His ways and to

1. Henry B. Eyring, “This Day,” Ensign, May 2007, 89.

I’ve been shown and

taught my whole life.

Where do I start?

If you would like

When we stumble or fall down, Heavenly

to share your ideas,

Father and Jesus Christ do not give up on

please label your

us. They continue to stretch out their arms

submission “Cycle

and beckon us to “come.”

Breaker” and fol ow

the guidelines under

“Do You Have a

Story to Tel ” on

page 2. Please limit

submissions to 500

words and submit

them by March 18.

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

39

By David M. McConkie

First Counselor in the Sunday

School General Presidency

Learning to Hear

and Understand the

Spirit

One of the most important things we can do is learn to hear and follow the promptings of the Spirit.

My father grew up in the he knelt and asked Heavenly Father gospel, he often spoke of his experi-small town of Monticello,

to help him find his pocketknife. He

ence on the dusty trail in Monticello

Utah. When he was seven,

climbed back on his horse, turned

when the Lord heard and answered

one of his daily chores was to bring

around, and rode back down the

the prayer of a “freckle-faced seven-

the family’s cows in from their pas-

trail. After some distance his horse

year-old boy.”

ture. His prized possession was his

stopped. Dad climbed off the horse

In his later years he told us that he

pocketknife, which he always kept

and put his hand into the deep dust

had learned something else from this

with him. One day as he was rid-

on the trail. There, buried in the dust,

childhood experience. With a twinkle

ing his horse to fetch the cows, he

he found his prized pocketknife. He

in his eye, he said, “I learned that God

reached into his pocket for his knife. knew that the Lord had heard and can speak to horses!”

To his dismay he realized he had

answered his prayer.

My father’s experience as a young

lost it somewhere along the trail. He

Because he had learned to listen

boy left a lasting impression on him

was heartbroken, but he believed

to and act upon the whisperings of

because it was the beginning of his

what he had been taught by his

the Spirit, my father was blessed to

personal spiritual education. This

ewbold n

father and mother: God hears and

see the hand of the Lord on many

was when he learned for himself that

G

answers prayers.

occasions throughout his life. He

God hears prayers. This was when he

He stopped his horse and slid off

witnessed many miracles. Yet when

began, as the Prophet Joseph Smith

tIons by Gre

its bare back to the ground. There

he gathered his family to teach us the

termed it, to learn the Spirit of God. 1

Illustra

40 E n s i g n

The Gift of the Holy Ghost

is the right, when we are worthy of it,

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught

The Savior promised His Apostles

to the constant companionship of the

that the Spirit of God can be learned

that after He left them, they would

third member of the Godhead.

and that “by learning the Spirit of God

enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost. He

The companionship of the Holy

and understanding it, you may grow

said, “The Comforter, which is the

Ghost is one of the greatest bless-

into the principle of revelation, until

Holy Ghost, whom the Father will

ings we can enjoy in mortality. Elder

you become perfect in Christ Jesus.” 3

send in my name, he shall teach you

Bruce R. McConkie (1915–85) of the

One of the most important things

all things, and bring all things to your

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:

we can do is learn the Spirit of God—

remembrance, whatsoever I have said

“Men ought—above all things in

learn to hear and follow the prompt-

unto you” ( John 14:26). This promise

this world—to seek for the guidance

ings of the Spirit. If we so desire and

was fulfilled on the day of Pentecost.

of the Holy Spirit. There is nothing as

are worthy, the Lord will school us in

Members of The Church of Jesus

important as having the companion-

the principle of revelation.

Christ of Latter-day Saints are entitled

ship of the Holy Ghost. . . .

to this same gift. After we are baptized,

“There is no price too high, no

Learning to Listen and to Act

the gift of the Holy Ghost is conferred

labor too onerous, no struggle too

To learn the Spirit of God, we

upon us by the laying on of hands by

severe, no sacrifice too great, if out

must learn to listen with our hearts.

one who is authorized to administer

of it all we receive and enjoy the gift

President Boyd K. Packer, President of

the ordinances of the gospel. This gift

of the Holy Ghost.” 2

the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles,

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

41

Y o u t h

CheCk the tire

By Andrew M. Wright

couldn’t shake the feeling. I looked

able to fix the flat just minutes before

back over my shoulder and then

the service station closed for the

When I was 15, my family and I

took a vacation from our home

stopped. The impression came to my

night. I don’t know what would have

in Arizona to the central United States.

mind: “Check the back tire.” It was

happened if I had ignored the prompt-

We drove through many states, includ-

so forceful I couldn’t ignore it.

ing. But I do know that because I

ing Kansas, Texas, Arkansas, Missouri,

I approached the rear of the van

responded, we were able to continue

and Illinois.

and heard a hissing sound. Sure

our trip safely and conveniently.

Our vacation went well. We learned enough, our right rear tire had a leak Since that incident, I’m always

to enjoy each other’s company during

and was quickly going flat. I ran to

reassured of the power of the Holy

the long van rides from place to place.

get my dad, who had already gone

Ghost and how truly blessed we are

As we pul ed into a restaurant one

into the restaurant with the rest of

as members of the Church to have

evening, we were al anxious to grab

the family.

that special line of communication. I

a bite to eat. As we got out of our

My father took the van down

am grateful for that experience, for it

van, I suddenly had a silent but pow-

the road to a gas station before the

wil stay with me, forever reminding

erful impression that told me to look

tire went completely flat. Since the

me that our Father in Heaven loves,

at the back tire on our van. I started

tire wasn’t damaged, the repair was

cares, and watches out for all of His

to walk toward the restaurant, but I

inexpensive and quick. And we were

children.

said: “The Spirit is a still, small voice—a

Of utmost importance in our school-

fulness at the first, but received grace

voice that is felt rather than heard. It is a ing process is our responsibility to for grace” (D&C 93:12), so also, as we

spiritual voice that comes into the mind act, without delay, in accordance with keep His commandments, we will

as a thought put into your heart.” 4

the spiritual promptings we receive.

“receive grace for grace” (D&C 93:20;

President Packer also taught:

President Thomas S. Monson stated:

see also John 1:16) and “line upon line,

useum

“Inspiration comes more easily in

“We watch. We wait. We listen for that

precept upon precept” (2 Nephi 28:30).

Y m

peaceful settings. Such words as

still, small voice. When it speaks, wise

Our schooling process is often as grad-

istorh

quiet, still, peaceable, Comforter

men and women obey. Promptings of

ual as the descent of the dews from

hurch c

abound in the scriptures: ‘Be still, and the Spirit are not to be postponed.” 6

heaven (see D&C 121:45; 128:19).

Y of

know that I am God.’ (Ps. 46:10; italics

Learning to hear and understand

Elder Richard G. Scott of the

tes

added.) And the promise, ‘You shall

the Spirit is a gradual and continuous

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

D, cour

receive my Spirit, the Holy Ghost,

process. The Savior said, “He that

has taught that “there is no simple

even the Comforter, which shall teach receiveth light, and continueth in formula or technique that would

you the peaceable things of the king-

God, receiveth more light; and that

immediately allow [us] to master the

Dan WeggelanBY

dom.’ (D&C 36:2; italics added).”

light groweth brighter and brighter

ability to be guided by the voice of

President Packer added: “While we until the perfect day” (D&C 50:24).

the Spirit.” Rather, “our Father expects

may invite this communication, it can

“For unto him that receiveth I will

[us] to learn how to obtain that divine

never be forced! If we try to force it,

give more” (2 Nephi 28:30).

help by exercising faith in Him and

we may be deceived.” 5

Just as Christ “received not of the

His Holy Son, Jesus Christ.”

trait of Brigham Young

Por

42 E n s i g n

A Privilege

Elder Scott continued: “What may

Learning to hear and understand

And duty

appear initially to be a daunting task

the Spirit takes considerable effort. But

“If you want the

will be much easier to manage over

the Lord has promised that the faithful

mind and wil of

time as you consistently strive to recog-

will “receive revelation upon revela-

God . . . , get it,

it is just as much

nize and follow feelings prompted by

tion, knowledge upon knowledge,

your privilege as of any other mem-

the Spirit. Your confidence in the direc-

that [they may] know the mysteries

ber of the Church and Kingdom of

tion you receive from the Holy Ghost

and peaceable things—that which

God. It is your privilege and duty

will also become stronger,” and “your

bringeth joy, that which bringeth life

to live so that you know when the

confidence in the impressions you feel

eternal” (D&C 42:61). ◼

word of the Lord is spoken to you

can become more certain than your

and when the mind of the Lord is

Notes

revealed to you. I say it is your duty

dependence on what you see or hear.” 7

1. See Teachings of Presidents of the Church:

Joseph Smith (2007), 132.

to live so as to know and under-

As part of our schooling process,

2. Bruce R. McConkie, A New Witness for the

Articles of Faith (1985), 253.

stand all these things.”

the Lord will help us to see the results, 3. Teachings: Joseph Smith, 132.

President Brigham Young (1801–77), Teachings

in our own life and in the lives of

4. Boyd K. Packer, “The Cloven Tongues of

Fire,”

of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young

Liahona, July 2000, 10; Ensign, May (1997), 68.

others, of our acting upon the prompt-

2000, 8.

5. Boyd K. Packer, “Reverence Invites

ings we receive from the Spirit. These

Revelation,” Ensign, Nov. 1991, 21.

experiences will strengthen our faith

6. Thomas S. Monson, “The Spirit Giveth Life,”

Liahona and Ensign, June 1997, 4.

and give us greater courage to act in

7. Richard G. Scott, “To Acquire Spiritual

Guidance,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2009, the future.

6–7.

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 1

43

Revelation

Pouring Down from Heaven

By Adam olson

A

Church Magazines

heavy spray soaks those who get too

least Saint may know all things as fast as he is

close to Pulhapanzak Falls in Honduras.

able to bear them.” 1

But José Santiago Castillo doesn’t mind.

“Before being baptized, I asked Heavenly

To José, the pouring water represents a promise

Father to confirm that what He had revealed to

that has been meaningful to him since Heavenly

me was true: the Book of Mormon, the Word of

Father first answered his prayers about the gospel.

Wisdom, tithing,” says José, now serving as elders

“If we want wisdom, we can ask,” José says

quorum president. “Asking Him is how we get

(see James 1:5). “Just as a man couldn’t stop this answers.” (See Moses 1:18.)

water, the Lord promises He will pour down

However, we must prepare ourselves to

knowledge upon the Saints.” (See D&C 121:33.)

receive revelation. “If we want to get wet,

José’s experience in the Church has taught

we have to get in the water,” José says. “If we

him that a testimony grows line upon line, but

want revelation, we must go where revelation

lson

that it doesn’t have to be a slow process. There is will fall. We must be where we should be, doing o a flood of revelation available.

what we should be doing. We learn many things dam C. a The Prophet Joseph Smith taught, “God hath

if we are diligent.” (See 1 Nephi 15:8–11.) ◼

Ph by

not revealed anything to Joseph, but what He

Note

1. Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith will make known unto the Twelve, and even the

(2007), 268.

Photogra

44 E n s i g n

“As well might man stretch

forth his puny arm to stop

the Missouri river in its

decreed course, or to turn

it up stream, as to hinder

the Almighty from pour-

ing down knowledge from

heaven upon the heads

of the Latter-day Saints”

(D&C 121:33).

As th

e Savior’s undershepherds,

we have the responsibility to “reach

out and rescue those who have

fallen by the wayside.”

of the

Lost and

found

ablesIn chapter 15 of the Gospel

of Luke, the Savior uses three

parables to teach the worth

of a soul, showing us how to find

and return that which is lost to

the fold of faith and family.

In the parables, the sheep

wanders, the piece of silver is lost,

and the prodigal son wastes his

inheritance in riotous living. But

the shepherd searches the wil-

derness, the woman sweeps the

house, and the forgiving father

y

watches for his son’s return, ever

. McKa

ready with an embrace and a

T a

Parwarm welcome home. rober

The Savior’s parables—and the Tions by

three vignettes by Church leaders Tra

that follow—remind us that as

T; illus

His undershepherds, we have the

responsibility to “reach out and

va K. Teicher

rescue those who have fallen by

by Miner

the wayside, that not one precious

soul will be lost.” 1

Note

1. Thomas S. Monson, “Stand in Your

Appointed Place,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2003, 57.

Rescue of the Lost Lamb,